


Anchor

by CrazyTaraWitch



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set shortly after season 3B. Storybrooke’s latest evil has been defeated, but at too high a cost.</p><p>Written for the Swan Queen Week+ prompt Caregiving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> I slipped in a quote from Grey's Anatomy because it popped into my head and fit the story. So if there's a line that seems familiar to you, that's probably why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

For the rest of her days, Emma Swan never knew what made her drive there.

It was 2am and it had been 3 days since the funeral. She knew Mary Margaret had been hurt when she returned to her own apartment, but she had to get away, get out; there too many memories there, and she couldn’t stand her parents’ sympathetic looks any longer. What she couldn’t stand even more was Hook, constantly trying to distract her. There was no one whose company she could tolerate; at least no one who could tolerate her.

Which is why what she was doing now made less than no sense, but Emma was long passed the point of caring, long passed the point of thinking. All she knew was there was somewhere she needed to be, like a magnet pulling her toward the only other person in the world who felt the loss as she did.

The house was dark when she arrived, but Emma had expected nothing less. Even if Regina were awake, there’d be no reason to have lights on; there was nothing to see, nothing left for either of them.

A small part of Emma felt guilty as she walked up the steps. If Regina had managed to find a few hours’ peace, it would be cruel to wake her and rip that away. Even if she were awake, there was no reason to think she would want to see Emma—now or ever. And yet somehow, Emma knew this was where she needed to be.

Maybe she just couldn’t take the loneliness anymore, the loneliness the consumed her when she was alone and somehow intensified when she was around anyone else. But Regina… Regina knew.

He was their son… had been their son. Would always be their son.

No sound came when she knocked.  She turned and start to leave, defeated and deflating, when she remembered she had grabbed Henry’s keys on the way out. They had been sitting there, on that little table, for days, untouched. Abandoned. A sob ripped through her. She hadn’t even thought, just grabbed them on instinct… they were tainted now. She’d picked them up because they weren’t his anymore. They weren’t  _Henry’s_  keys, they were just keys. Her back slammed against the wall and she was almost glad for the pain as she slid to the floor, tears wracking her body as she curled in on herself, the emptiness threatening to pull her in to a hole she could never crawl out of.

She was still shaking when the tears slowed to a trickle. She felt too weak to stand and her hand trembled as she put the key into the lock. She pushed the door open and heaved a deep sigh before shifting into the doorway.

“Regina,” she called out with a sob, her voice too quiet to be heard far.

She chastised herself for her foolishness, crawling through the house of a woman who hated her in the middle of the night, seeking… what? Comfort? Regina had never been one to offer that.

She should leave, but she couldn’t. There was nowhere else to go, no one else to go to. “Regina,” she whispered desperately. No response. Emma was reminded again of the feeling she’d had, the feeling that she needed to be here. Needed to be with Regina. That maybe… Regina needed her.

Emma struggled to her feet and stumbled to the stairs, the darkness and the tears in her eyes nearly blinding her. She wanted to crumple to the ground, but she drove herself onward with the thought of her son’s mother.  She knew nothing would be better for being near the woman; better wasn’t in the cards anymore, for either of them. But that didn’t make it any less where she needed to be.

When she reached the top of the stairs Emma called again, her voice a little stronger this time, though raw with need. She thought she heard a moan come from Regina’s room, and suddenly she was running, all weakness forgotten.

She barreled through the door then stopped dead in her tracks. There was moonlight filling the room, and she felt an instant rush of confusion and embarrassment when she saw Regina lying there sleeping. She was just sleeping, and Emma had come for nothing. Just sleeping… with a pill bottle beside her. Emma’s heart pounded as she walked towards the table, forcing herself to go slowly. Because it was just a bottle. It could have been for a headache or to help her sleep. It could have been a vitamin.

But Emma knew it wasn’t, long before she saw the bottle was empty or noticed the sweat on Regina’s brow.

“Regina,” she whispered helplessly. The woman groaned at the sound and Emma felt her heart skip a beat. She fumbled for the lamp and recoiled when the bright light switched on. She forced her eyes away from the woman before her as she dialed 911.

“I—there’s been an overdose,” she stumbled over the rush of words when the operator answered. “She’s—she took pills and—save her. You have to save her!” she shrieked.

“Where are you now?”

“108 Mufflin Street. Hurry—please hurry,” Emma begged.

“Alright ma’am, I’ll send the ambulance, but first can you tell me what she took?”

“Tylenol—I don’t know how much, the bottle’s empty. I-I don’t know how long it’s been, but she’s…” Emma couldn’t say it. Couldn’t say  _dying_. Couldn’t think about  _dead_.

“The ambulance is on its way,” the man reassured her, “They’ll be there in about 10 minutes, and they’ll do everything they can.” Emma nodded, not realizing the man couldn’t see her, and hung up. She waited, counting Regina’s breaths to remind herself the woman was still alive. It wasn’t over yet.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Acetylcysteine. Charcoal. New words she never thought she’d need to know. Words she repeated to herself over and over. Words to remind her that Regina had gotten the best possible care. Words to remind her that Regina  _would_  wake up, that she would come back and be okay. She had to be okay. Emma needed her to be okay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It would have been a lie to say it had been the longest day of her life, waiting for Regina. But after the week she’d had she wouldn’t have thought there was anything left that could make her days longer. Without Henry it felt like nothing else mattered… But Regina, Regina mattered. And when she finally opened her eyes, Emma found herself crying again, but this time with relief.

“Emma?” Regina asked in confusion. “What…?” Her situation seemed to dawn on her all at once, and suddenly her face flooded with anger. “You should have let me go!”

Emma’s relief was gone in an instant, and the feelings of fear and betrayal she’d been struggling against burst out of her. “No! You don’t get to leave! You don’t get to leave me!”

“There’s nothing left for me Emma!” Regina shouted, but her voice cracked then, a sob overtaking her. When she met Emma’s gaze, her eyes were pleading. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be with Henry, and Daniel.”

“What about me?!” Emma shouted. “You’ll be okay, you’ll be fine, but what about  _me_?” Regina’s mouth fell open slightly, and she seemed to have nothing to say. “You can’t leave me Regina, you can’t.” It was Emma who was begging now, and she hated herself for it, but not as much as she hated Regina for wanting to die.

“We just lost our son Regina.  _Our_  son, you and me. And if you leave… if you’re gone it’s only me.” Voice sounded small to her ears now, and it trembled as she spoke. “If you die I’ll be alone.”

“You have your parents… and Hook,” Regina reminded her, with a gentleness that terrified her. As if she was trying to comfort her about something that had long been decided. “All I had was Henry.”

“No! He is not all you had! You have me! You have me Regina, and I can’t get through this without you. No one else…” she took a shuddering breath, struggling through her tears. “No one else matters. You and Henry were a family, just like Henry and I were a family, and I always thought… someday, we’d find a way to be a family the three of us. I thought we’d… have movie nights and family dinners, holidays and maybe a vacation, just the three of us. There’s always be other people—my parents and whoever else came into our lives, but they’d always be extra. You’re the only… You’re the only one who loved him like I loved him. And I can’t get through this, Regina. I can’t lose you too.”

“Emma…” Regina murmured, lifting her hand to reach towards the blonde. Emma grabbed it with both hands, and clung on like it was her only lifeline, as if it was the only thing anchoring her to this world.

“We’ll get through it okay?” Emma begged. “We’ll get through this together and we’ll stay alive.” Keeping her left hand held tight to Regina’s, she lifted the other stroke her cheek. “Please stay alive for me,” she begged. One tear rolled from Regina’s eye, but Emma didn’t wipe it; she knew there would be more tears. For as long as they lived, there would be tears, but they just had to live.

Regina’s nod was so small, Emma might not have noticed if she hadn’t felt the movement against her palm. It wasn’t much, and Emma knew there would be more battles to be fought. But here and now they could anchor each other to this moment.

   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
